Shouldn't that read "Roll Upton, roll Upton?" No. Actually, that's terrible. Forget we ever said that. We're sorry.
Kate Upton is, as we're sure you can see, dressed as possibly the sexiest circus ringmaster (ringmistress?) we've ever seen, in aid of selling Beach Bunny bikinis. It's not that we've seen a lot of ringmasters and rated them in terms of sexiness - we're not really into the "waxed handlebar moustashe and top hat" look, if we're being honest - but, really, it's hard for us to imagine a sexier one than Kate Upton. And we have pretty good imaginations, too.
They're top notch
So what sort of circus might Kate run? Immaculately manicured lions would paw languorously across the fresh sawdust arena, and she'd bravely tame them with a chair and put her beautiful head in their ferocious mouths. Given her experience in horse riding (she's won five world titles for it, after all) there'd doubtlessly be some equestrian dalliances, no doubt complete with someone or something leaping through a flaming hoop of some kind. You know how these things tend to play out.
Instead of the normal sad, middle-aged man clowns there'd be a cavalcade of gorgeous lady clowns, having ditched the standard baggy trousers and slapped-on whiteface stylings for individualy tailored harlequin bikinis and artfully-applied makeup. Maybe instead of buckets of silver paper to throw at each other, they'd have actual water to girlishly lob around the place - and the pie fights would lose comedic timing but make up for it with masses of catfight-eqsue pseudo-erotic play brawls.
Is that a weird thing to wish for? Perhaps. But it'd knock the socks off your run-of-the-mill Big Top experience, that's for sure.
